This week, I re-visited a quick read, favorite book. Ken Blanchard’s “The One Minute Apology.” It’s a great, simple book about the powerful ways to make things better.
As a kid, I’m not certain I ever grasped the power of an apology. It always just seemed the automatic reaction when I made a mistake. My younger self didn’t understand the complexities of human pride and self-righteousness, but my older self does.
Now, I see business people refusing to talk to each other for years after an argument just because neither side wants to be the first to let go of their pride and “break down and apologize.” Families are sometimes torn apart because neither side will “give in.” So who decided apologizing was a sign of weakness? I think we’ve reached a day and age where showing emotional vulnerability can be viewed as a positive rather than a negative quality.
It took me a long time to realize what it meant to say “I’m sorry” from the heart. Take for example the person who says. “If you feel I offended you, I’m sorry.” That’s no apology. Apologizing just for the sake of apologizing is meaningless. We cannot genuinely apologize if we can’t admit to ourselves that we made a mistake. This is where humility comes in. Can we look at ourselves in the mirror and say that it was at least partly our fault? Can we take that responsibility?
Placing the blame on someone else is easy. Making excuses and skirting the subject is easy. Assuming the full weight of blame on our own shoulders, however, is very hard.
An apology cannot undo what has been done, but it can help ease the pain and tension of the aftermath. It gives hope for rebuilding, and puts value on the relationship rather than the individual’s pride.
Sometimes people don’t even realize the hurt they are creating around them by failing to take responsibility for their actions. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s someone you know, but everyone knows someone who has suffered from this at some time.
Often times those two simple words are worth more than a lifetime of excuses and explanations.
Choose the path of humility. Choose the path of healing. Choose love above pride. Choose to apologize.
Have a great weekend!
