I recently met with someone to go over a challenge in an attempt to help them come up with a solution. I offered a suggestion which was met with, “That will never work.” When I suggested an alternative solution, their response was, “That will just open up a huge can of worms.” Yet a third offering was plated as an idea for resolve to which I then heard, “It’s frustrating to know that no matter what I do, it’s not going to happen.”
At this point, I could not quite decide between frustration or amusement. I mean let’s be honest… this person has no desire to be a part of the solution. Instead, they are a huge part of the problem. I literally remember my emotions shifting from a place of serving and helping to a place of negativity and pessimism. It was a conscious shift that made me uncomfortable.
Negative people are some of the most draining people to be around. For the most part we can avoid these people or limit our exposure to them but when they are “in our world” it can feel impossible to get away from them. Their negativity and the impact they can have on our emotional health can actually be very demanding. Our choices are limited, we either sit and listen to them complain, or we confront them and run the risk of making a bad situation worse.
Sometimes we attempt to coach people who are negative hoping that with some self-awareness and constructive tools, they can turn their behavior around or at least minimize it. This can be a challenge as many negative people are stuck in this behavior and need a more professional approach to change opposed to some gentle coaching. There are times when coaching can help someone who is negative. They key is determining when someone is open to constructive feedback, and quite frankly, whether you feel it’s worth the effort. It’s a delicate situation that requires patience and finesse but if it is someone you care about… give it a shot. Maybe over time… they’ll start seeing that glass half full… and they will have you to thank.
