Conflict has a way of showing up when we least expect it. Sometimes it’s a disagreement with a client. Other times it’s a misunderstanding with a colleague, a challenge with the other agent in a transaction, or an issue with a company we’ve trusted to provide a service. Regardless of where it comes from, conflict presents each of us with a choice.
We can play the role of the victim.
We can point fingers, assign blame, become emotional, and wait for someone else to make things right. While those reactions may feel justified in the moment, they rarely move us any closer to the outcome we hope to achieve.
Or we can choose a different path.
At Intero, we often talk about one of our leadership principles: See it. Own it. Fix it. Most people associate that phrase with taking responsibility when we’ve made a mistake. I believe it has an even broader application. It also describes how we should approach problems that aren’t necessarily of our own making.
A few months ago, I found myself putting that philosophy to the test.
After having new tires installed on my vehicle, I discovered damage that I believed occurred during the installation process. Naturally, I was disappointed. I contacted the company, explained the situation, and expected we would quickly arrive at a reasonable resolution.
We didn’t.
My initial claim was denied. I appealed, provided additional information, and was denied again. Eventually, I received a settlement offer that I believed fell well short of covering the actual damage.
At that point, I had a decision to make.
I could become angry. I could complain to anyone who would listen. I could convince myself that “life isn’t fair” and move on frustrated.
Instead, I asked myself a different question.
“What can I do to achieve the desired result?”
I documented everything. I gathered photographs. I consulted with experts. I obtained repair estimates. I prepared a small claims case, not out of spite, but because it was the appropriate next step. Throughout the entire process, I remained respectful in every conversation and every email. It’s worth mentioning that I entered a negative review on one
of the popular review platforms. My review was not emotional; it was fact based. I didn’t point fingers at any individual or make any disparaging comments; I told my story in the hope that someone in leadership might be made aware of my challenge. My objective was never to win an argument. My objective was simply to reach a fair resolution.
Eventually, that’s exactly what happened.
The company escalated the matter, reviewed the evidence, and agreed to reimburse me for the full amount of the repairs. As importantly, once the issue was resolved, I honored my commitment by removing my negative review and thanking them for ultimately doing the right thing.
Looking back, the most valuable part of the experience wasn’t the reimbursement. It was the reminder that our response to adversity often determines the outcome more than the adversity itself.
Every challenge presents us with an opportunity to demonstrate who we are.
Will we react emotionally, or respond thoughtfully?
Will we focus our energy on assigning blame, or on solving the problem?
Will we wait for someone else to fix it, or will we take ownership of the process, one step at a time?
The truth is, we don’t always get to choose the problems that come our way. We do, however, get to choose how we respond to them.
That choice often makes all the difference.
As you head into the weekend, remember that setbacks are inevitable. Whether you’re navigating a complicated transaction, working through a client concern, or dealing with an unexpected challenge in your personal life, resist the temptation to become the victim of the circumstance. Instead, take a breath, gather the facts, determine the next right step, and keep moving forward.
You’ll be surprised how often calm, methodical execution accomplishes what frustration never could.
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone, and Happy Friday.
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